Say goodbye to Boat Show Girl until the end of summer.

Hi everyone,

I woke up with a pang in my side only for me to turn over and pull that thorn out. I realized what I have to do in order to become more successful in life, and that’s hitting pause on some dreams, so that I can make way to finish up what needs to be done in order to come back to it and make it something spectacular. When you are like me–have one million dreams and goals already with 150,000 things going on–and you’re the ONLY one that’s taking care of everything including all the financial responsibilities for every day life+fun+future (since Sir Eisenhower still isn’t making money yet like Mr Crabs!), it just gets difficult with not having all the TIME in the world to do everything that needs/wants to be done. Add in exhaustion of doing this for two years plus a massive sneak of depression that has certainly landed me short of the looney bin…..

I hate hate hate doing this, and–to be quite honest–a comment that someone dear to me once told me almost a year ago reminded me that it is much better to do something the right way the first time and not half assed. Sadly, my efforts into BSG have become a habit of the latter. None of that is intentional of course, it just happens when you have so much going on that all one is doing could be under the face of “too busy” or “trying to catch up” and then it doesn’t become fun anymore… like chores…. I woke up this morning with that on my mind and it was one of those things I just don’t like like dealing with… I don’t want to be seen in the marine industry as a failure, because I want to be a part of the success that turns the industry around for the millennials and its future.

So, with having said that, this decision comes as an extremely tough one. Last year, I went to the Suncoast Boat Show and divvied up the Bradenton show in June as my last show for the summer. This year, unfortunately, I’m starting early and will not be attending one of my most favorite shows, Suncoast.

The guys at World of Boating have been so patient with me and giving me career advice out the wazoo. Last weekend it was presented that “now is the time to go traveling” — it is, but it isn’t, but it is what I want to do. In order to make BSG a success, I am going to have to travel, which means I need to get all of my ducks in a row on figuring out my process. I can’t be all up in the air with unfinished business as I do right now. I have to have a multitude of will-be-successes behind me before I go out, travel and preach BSG. I need more than one purpose to go places and I need to share those experiences, but what? That’s what I  need to figure out.

Right now, I’ve been doing a whole lot of reading and writing and most of it has to do with my poetry stuff especially since it’s poetry month. While I have some of that time and the creative motives to do writing, I need to continue that until that ball also drops. I am–after all–mostly a writer and if I don’t write and experience to write, what’s the point of my main focus in life?

This summer (besides making it to one year of helping out at the theatre for the summer one acts), I will be secretly working on stuff for BSG, still participating in the World of Boating show, and my process of visiting boat shows this upcoming fall starting with either IBEX or Tampa…whichever comes first. Which means, yeah, you probably won’t see me on social media as BSG during the summer. There’s a book that I will be working on called Who Is Boat Show Girl? and I’m not sure when I’ll be publishing it, but it’s certainly one of those things that’s been on my to-do list for so long. I think this is a good time to introduce the world to BSG and make the future all about becoming something.

I want to come back with a lot of my other projects finished and caught up in certain aspects of my life so that I can solely focus on BSG and everything that I can make it.

It was also said by one of the WoB guys that boat shows isn’t where I need to be. More likely it is because it’s the one thing that has shown constant happiness for me, but it hasn’t been lately since I’ve lost a little bit of passion through being so overwhelmed with everything else. Like I said, I’m hitting pause on something so important to me, but it is an evil necessary to become successful and that is something I want to be.

I can’t seem to find the picture(s) right now, but a few years ago I took some where I was straight looking out above the helm of a rather large boat. It showed everything. It was magical and I could see my future. But now, I can’t see the future anymore, the glass has become a serious shade of hazy and I think that’s a good time to stop and regroup before I ruin something really great. What do you think?

As the Silicon Valley folks say, it’s time to pivot. And pivot I will do.

Thank you so much for following me along the way and I hope that you will continue to follow my path as BSG after I come back from my rather large “out of the blue” hiatus. If you ever have any suggestions on how to make my dreams come true sooner or if you want to offer me something when I come back from hiatus, please let me know. 

-Karen Maeby the Boat Show Girl 

Perfume by Karen Maeby (poem)

PERFUME
4.17.17 © by Karen Maeby

the bottle that you hold so dearly
in between your hands
is the flesh that holds my bones together
and
the liquid found inside
is my life’s personality
that will eventually run out.

you unwrap me, make a face,
and give me away during white elephant.
i just wasn’t your taste.

i am undoubtedly fragile
because one slip to the ground
and i will break.

i will break into a million pieces,
only to never be put back together again.
my puzzle will always be missing something.

i think
i feel
i breathe

until i can’t.

i am perfume:

i get used, and then,
when i run out of steam
i am thrown away.

will i be replaced?
will i be replaced?

i am a scent that you will carry with you
always, always, always
as you start thinking back to the memories
you replay scenes in your mind
like the black and white movie on a film board.

midnight jazz
the singer sings on
and the drunk
keeps drinking
and there’s a sneeze in the air
with me on the tip of your tongue.

if i’m replaced—
am i a reincarnation of your memories
or a new and improved tomorrow?

i am now a broken glass,
shattered, impossible to put back together.

i am a butterfly that has just been released,
only wanting to come home.

i am recyclable
determined to be turned into something else.

I AM PERFUME
FOR ONLY SO LONG.

my bottle harvests that moonlight glow
and the tiniest bit of sweetness
between sea breeze, pumpkin, memories and jazz.
i can play the piano to a tune of an illusion

that i was meant to be anything but broken.

Masquerade Fantasy – A short story by Karen Maeby

Masquerade Fantasy – A short story

2017 © Karen Maeby

(Copyright notice: This document shall not be replicated or posted elsewhere unless the author provides written permission. As of right now, the only place this short story is on the author’s private blog at KarenMaeby.com – Thank you for understanding.) 

He sat almost lifeless at his computer, obsessively staring at the screen, as he tapped his pen against the desk. Everything stopped for a minute—the noise of ambulances rushing down the road, the neighbor’s kids screaming as they play, background music on the TV—and all he could hear was his own heartbeat ringing through his ears. As he came to, he wiped the sweat that was pouring off his forehead.

“I have to do this.” He says out loud, as he replies to an ad for a call girl. After responding he hurried up and closed out of the computer when he heard his girlfriend coming in the door.

“Hi honey, what’s going on?” She asks.

“I need to go out for a bit.” He gives her a light kiss then quickly rushes to his car and out of the driveway.

One knock on the door, and this beautiful woman dressed in a Masquerade mask and a black silk nightgown, opens it. “Hi, Sugar. Come on in.” She moves aside as he walks in, taking note of everything in the hotel room.

He doesn’t even take a minute to get settled in. “The beautiful mask. You hide behind it–your true identity. Tell me…. how does it feel to hide your true identity? What is your name?” He asks her, as he brushes her face.

She replies almost uneasy, “My name is Marilyn. You contacted the Masquerade hotline, so the mask is part of the game, Sugar. Now…do you want to start, or should I?” She reaches for him, and he grabs her arm to stop.

“I only want to talk.” He says, “I need to talk to someone and I felt that someone like yourself—with secrets of her own—would be a good contender to lend an ear. Would I be correct about this?”

“…Yes? In a way?”

“Oh don’t worry, beautiful. You’ll still get paid your wage.” He paces the floor. “I suspect my wife is cheating on me, and I want to put a stop to it, but I think murder is the only option. I have thought about this every night since I started suspecting her. Here’s what I will do: I will cook her dinner—her favorite meal—put some sleeping pills in her red wine, and seduce her all the way to bed. Then, after we’ve done the deed for the last time while she’s alive, I will smother her to death. I will wrap her body in a bag—attach some weight to it so there’s not a chance her body will float up—and throw her in the river that’s about 25 miles north of where we live, that way, it’s not suspecting on my part. I would have no reason to go to private property farmland, because that’s where the river is located.” He continues, as he is rubbing his hands together like he’s concocting a plan. “I will wait a day and call 911 to file a missing persons report, then I will call everyone that we know and ask if they’ve seen her.”

Horrified and shaking, Marilyn says as she’s backing away from him, “Are—are—you sure you want to commit murder?”

“Oh Marilyn,” he reaches for her and strokes her arm, “I’m not going to harm you, my dear, there’s no need to be terrified.”

“Why do you think murdering your wife the only option, instead of just talking to her? Couldn’t you go to counseling?”

“Because Brandy had it coming.”

“Had?”

“Has. I mean, has… if I catch her in the act, she’ll be punished.”

“Okay, so say you caught her in the act—wouldn’t you think, that if someone you knew saw you with me here—and let her know—she wouldn’t think you’re doing the same thing?”

“It’s logical, but doubtful. We’re too far from my neighborhood for anyone to recognize me.”

“Chuck, I’ve never been in this position before. I’ve never had someone to confess something this outrageous to me, so you’ve got to understand where I’m coming from, please forgive me… but are you absolutely sure you want to kill your wife? There really are other options to avoid jail time for the rest of your life. Maybe a divorce will suit?”

“If I go to jail over this, the kill will be well worth it.”

“You’ve puzzled me, Chuck. I wish I could help you resolve this so you wouldn’t go to such lengthy matters and end up in so much trouble. What if she’s really not cheating?”

“You could help me find out. I’ll even protect your identity when the time comes, that is, if we have to commit murder.”

“NO! No, I will not help you murder anyone, Chuck. I will talk to you all day here if need be to help change your mind, but I cannot ever do something like that. How could you even think about this yourself? How do you sleep at night with this on your mind?”

“I have slept just fine.” He says, in a matter of fact way.

A buzz of a phone disturbs the awkward silence of the conversation. It was Chuck’s phone. “Oh it’s my girlfriend Diane. She wants to know when I’ll be home and what to fix for dinner.”

“But I thought your–” A knock at the door dismissed Marilyn’s sentence, as she got up to open it, five police were standing outside the door.

One rushes in with a gun drawn, “CHUCK POLASKI, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR THE MURDER OF BRANDY ELAINE POLASKI.”

As the police were reading Chuck’s rights to him, he kept glaring at Marilyn. They escorted him to the police vehicle, and Marilyn shortly followed.

Back at the police station, several people were in the interview room, among them: Diane, Chuck, Marilyn, two detectives and a police officer.

One of the detectives said, “After twenty years, we finally have you. Twenty years. It took two decades to find you, but we did it.”

Chuck spits out. “Who the hell are you, Marilyn? Were you in on this? I should have known you were asking too many questions!”

Diane starts to cry, “Your questions are irrelevant, Chuck. I suspected you were cheating on me, so I hired a private investigator and they’ve been following you around for a while now. You’ve been having some odd behavior that resembled that to a murderers. Sadly, I was right.”

Chuck says, “No, Diane, I suspected you! I thought you were cheating on me.”

“So that’s why you went to meet with someone from the Masquerade hotline? Really?”

“Obviously I contacted the wrong Masquerade hotline.” He snorts.

“Oh no, it was the right one but unfortunately, for you, your date was with an undercover cop.” Marilyn says, as she flashes her badge in his face.

One of the more threatening looking detectives leans in. “Now, Polaski, let’s get down to the nitty gritty business of why we’re really here. Our private investigators have followed you to and from the location of where you threw Brandy’s body in the water. You drive there at least three times a week and you’re walking a very thin line of trespassing on private property. And, according to your confession today of a pre-confessed murder, you already knew it was private property.

And, let’s think about this next one for a minute—you’re not married, you’re with a Diane who holds girlfriend status, so who in the world is Brandy?

Brandy was your wife that you murdered in cold blood twenty years ago. Am I right, Polaski? You just couldn’t take it anymore. You had to tell someone, but yet, you picked your destiny. You could have gone anywhere else but you fell right into a trap of your own doing. But we are so thankful you did, so thank you, Polaski, for setting your own trap.

Needless to say, if we can’t keep the confession as evidence for the court, we can submit your fingerprints. For twenty years, Polaski, we’ve been missing your fingerprint in our database for the proof of closing this case and arresting your ass. It would be in your best interest to plead guilty. So, what will it be, Polaski?”

Seatrial poem by Karen Maeby

Hi Everyone! So since it’s poetry month, I wanted to share a poem that I wrote about going out on my first seatrial with the guys at work on 4/4/17. This is only the rough draft….

 

SEATRIAL 4.4.17 by Karen Maeby

PREFACE

I stepped onto the rocking dock
caused by wind gusts. I carefully watched
as they backed the boat into the water.

I’m on board now–it’s time to go.

I

Riding against the wind
with my eyes closed.
Going so fast that I cannot see
where we’re going, where I’m going.
A rush–fear enters–but exits within
As the wind blew my hair,
And I took in what I was supposed to.
Fear suppressed, bravery fed me as I hold on.
This is what my life will become
The day after tomorrow.

II

The smell of fish overbearing in my nostrils–
I am happy to have smelt it,
It’s been too long.

We’re close to my favorite place,
and in the middle of nowhere
where thoughts purely just do not exist.

Nothing but poetry remains
in my soul, there are words…and so many..
It felt like a cleansing that needed to happen.

III

Before the solitude existed any longer,
we turned around to go back to life.
And in the instant, we fired up the engine,
Getting high on plane–40,000RPM–
The wind was on our side and we were gliding.

A thought entered my mind:
How does having the wind on your side
Make you a great Captain?
Don’t you need to have all kinds of challenges
To make you the experienced one
To be able to tough it out, fight,
And come out better in the end?

CONCLUSION

Life is where the compass takes you.
Spin the ole schoolhouse globe, point,
and head there. See what happens.

Education by experience is well worth it.  

 

 

NOTE: If you are interested in reading more of my poetry, I have just recently put together a poetry collection of 200+ poems from two of my earlier books that I published a while ago. CLICK HERE to go to Amazon to purchase! It’s an eBook right now but will eventually be a paperback once I figure out how to do that… another day… Thank you!