Just to note: I’m into technology but I’m not into technology, feel me dawg? More like, technology is into me.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I know what you people are going to say, “Karen…got…a WINDOWS PHONE? after being all PRO-APPLE IPHONE AND NOTHING BUT IPHONE SO HELP HER SOUL? Yeah. I know.

It all started when THE husband and I went on a mission to find a harddrive case for me and a good deal on a 16 gig usb drive. Well, as it so happens technology just hates me because my MacAir is running out of space (hence the harddrive) and 8GB usb drive won’t be enough space for my WORK COMPUTER’s info. You’ve got that right. I have a looooot of gigs on to back up on that sucker.

Anyway, we were talking about my husband. We went to CompUSA and Dan saw the Lumia 900. He drooled enough that it formed into a river and we had to find a canoe to find our way to the line. While standing in line, he had this puppy dog look on his face and I was like, “Whatever, go against Apple and BUY the stupid thing anyway.” He did….but only because it was a good deal no upgrade fee and only $35 for the $99 (on a 2 year contract) phone.

I played with it over that weekend and started liking it. Or, more like I started getting hungry for a new phone because I have had this 3GS for over two years. So on Monday, we went to AT&T and I got myself the white Lumia 900 for $45 + upgrade.

I decided that having 200+ apps on my iPhone was too distracting and I needed something to limit myself. Yeah, well.

Setting up the phone was pretty okay. As I’ve advertised everywhere, I name my phones. My lumia 900 is named: Skeleton•Sunshine.

After using this device for almost a week, here are my positive thoughts:

• The white slick back phone looks a little better than the black matte. The buttons don’t rock (with sound) so much on the white phone being inclosed with the material.
• Love the bigger screen. I seriously LOVE the bigger screen.
• The way the boxes and rectangles move on the main screen is awesome and the basic flow of the apps when opened and closed.
• I can have a white screen and almost all icons are pink. I think that’s mostly why I like it.
• Things move on the main screen- like, live feeds / live weather and so on and for people (like me) who have adhd this is a great feature.
• Live weather updates on the main app tile / the “me” center where you can see all connected updates in one  look / local scout (a faster way to see what’s around you) / threaded email / maps / Facebook / calendar allows for FB / etc events to show up on the days = cooler features or app changes, totally better than iPhone.

I’m sure that’s not all but I haven’t used it more than almost 5 days, so.

Here are my negative thoughts:

• Unfortunately, what I wanted wasn’t really want I wanted and what I wanted was… limit to apps or what I put on my phone. It’s kind of boring. A lot of boring.
• Some of the apps work very wrong.
• I hate the whole “people” thing. As soon as you put your accounts out there, it ties everyone into everything and puts EVERYONE in your contact list from EVERYWHERE.
• Nothing like iMessage (yeah, stupid live chat) but still.
• Did I mention very boring?
• They need to fully develop a few of the apps like eBay, G+ where it doesn’t make you sign in EVERY SINGLE TIME.
• I think I really hate having more than one button. Thanks, Apple.
• I need a better Twitter app and can’t seem to find one like the iPhone.
• I HATE NOT HAVING NOTIFICATIONS. MY PHONE IS SO DAMN LONELY WITHOUT THEM. I can hear Skeleton•Sunshine’s tears through the silence.

I guess I was just spoiled by the iPhone and their quantity of apps. I have only found half of the apps I had (which, I guess in reality is what I thought I wanted) and kind of miss having everything there. I still have Pluranus, my iPhone, and I use it daily as an alarm still and to keep updated on whatever apps I don’t have or playing that stupid butterfly bejeweled game that I lose sooo much time playing!

As far as being an Apple freak, yeah, I’m still an all-Apple person. I’m going to give this phone a real chance, as do like a few select things a whole lot… but after this, I really hope Apple makes a larger screen phone because I’m totally going back to Apple.

Overall, as the whole entirety of the phone is concerned, I like it about 70%. But this is me speaking – I went from a non-working BlackBerry four years ago to an iPhone for goodness sakes. I almost feel like a step back using this phone, but, I think that Apple should learn a few of the things I have stated in what I liked about this phone. (Such as, the movement on the screen or at least live apps. Faster turnaround of the apps moving when you open something, developed FB app & maps & adding the really cool fonts.) Apple is still better in several different ways.

Anyway, there’s my review. Oh and:

PS:

Dear Brothers of Technology,

Toast is what happens when you put bread in the toaster. Then, you spread butter on it. You can’t toast a phone or it will blow up, you can’t put butter on that toast because your phone will slip out of your hands and fall to the floor and break! Seriously. Name the screen something other than toast.

Love, Maybe jelly.

An Angry Song by Karen Maeby Bates
May 15, 2012

anger.
hearts desire, soul on fire.
you’ve made me mad, son.
what have you done?
what have you done?

the steam blows off
the train whistle and
the rain comes down
angry, stings my skin
makes me scream!

my blood is rising,
boiling inside my skin -
my bones want to punch
something, break something.

give me something porcelain
i will slam it to the ground,
watch it break into a million pieces.
soothing my soul.

make you a character
as the one that falls dead -
burning inside the pages of that book
undead.

i’ve gone mad,
all i see is:
fire fire fire fire fire!

you know that’s bad.

i cry out fire,
my heart’s desire
an ice cold bath?
nope, ice cold words from an
ice cold soul – bitch.

write it down,
forget it. anger – not worth it.
burn it, it never happened.

the truth is?

All I’ve wanted to do is come home from work and watch TV and read. No interaction at all.

I don’t know if I’m back in the spot that I think that people aren’t really interested in reading what I have to say so it’s best not to say anything at all to waste my time.. or if I’m just turning into a recluse.

Blah.

After reading Rue McClanahan’s book – I went on to The Bloggess’ book – and I finished. I need to write a review one day. I also have a ton of other books to start reading that I bought from my favorite thrift store.

I’m behind on promotion. I’m behind on writing my own book. Again.

I’m so tired.

My throat is still hurting 3 weeks later, I guess it’s time to go to the doctor.

Now my ear is hurting – feeling stabby – and it’s making me stabby.

Anyway, hopefully one day I’ll be back to feeling normal. In the meantime, adios.

• Fraud “doctors” that have no experience are the ones performing autopsies on dead bodies.
• This leads to false autopsy results.
• Investigations of the above are shown and still, after many, many cases of one certain “doctor” being wrong he was STILL performing autopsies inside the hospitals.
• In some areas, coroners (yes, that’s right - coroners) are the ones who perform the autopsies. Coroners who DO NOT have the certification and training needed to do such a prestigious job.
• Body parts are being misplaced, ignorant choice of doctors, wronged autopsy results.

This show is beyond belief. Not that I don’t believe it, but it’s so unbelievable that this can happen with our technology and knowledge today in the 21st century. Using coroners,  of which their jobs are something totally different and they are not trained to do this, gets the choice of figuring out what happened to the people when they die. This is seriously, seriously terrible.

Why?

Think about it – as discussed in the show – someone who does not have the training to give specific and rightful answers as to what’s wrong with the people when they died…. it allows for wrongly accused people to possibly go to jail or people who are guilty (say, in a murder) are released. Then, the family or whoever buries the body later leaves no evidence to close whatever case that might still be open.

This is a terrible, terrible predicament to be in. Everyone should be aware of this! Why aren’t we doing something? Jails are full – if someone’s autopsy is done by a professional who won’t fuck it up – it should save those who are innocent from going to jail. Wrong autopsy results are almost as bad as tampering with evidence.

If the deceased had been given deadly drugs by the murderer, and the autopsy results come back saying that they died of natural causes (all due to an ignorant doctor) – that doctor had just allowed for the guilty party to be released from any hint of their possible crime.

Come. On.

This is the 21st century! We are upgraded! Stuff like THIS should have happened back in 1800s because of no medical technology but for fuck’s sake, we HAVE the resources now! We have excellent education. We should NOT be hiring someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing to set the results of something so very important to close out someone’s life or the families ties. Really.

We wouldn’t want someone who doesn’t know how to deliver a baby to be our baby’s doctor, we wouldn’t want a random person operating on us and for goodness sakes, we wouldn’t want someone to falsely close out our death. How will the souls of the dead even rest?

In any murder, TRUTH about the body is needed in order to rightfully solve or close the case.

I just don’t know why this isn’t important to the government.

We should have some sort of a protection from the day we are born to the day that we die – stating that in the end – we get one autopsy (if something happened or if the family requested it) and if something funny shows up, there’s a requirement for a second one.

I’m just really, really bothered by this.

Me, protecting the dead…and wanting to fight the right to know 100% if a case can be completed truthfully or not.

Freedom Lake Park, photo by me.

Freedom, Maybe by Karen Maeby Bates
May 1, 2012

Freedom maybe, Maeby.
Unleash your thoughts from the past,
write them down and let them go.

Fly. Just let them fly away.

Transport those words to the birds
and let them take it like a telegram -
to bury it in the ground
or drop it in the sea.

Just forget.

Let it just disappear -
let go and never think about it
again.

Your future is there.
And you – you need closure from the past.

-

Review of Rue McClanahan’s book, My First Five Husbands…and the ones that got away… 

I found myself saying “holyshitsticks!” in my head (A LOT) as I read Rue McClanahan’s book. Wowzah. Being the exact opposite of Rue, the more careful examiner of EVERYTHING I do before actually doing it and the consequences that would follow, reading this book ignited the ‘dare devil / risk taker’ in me….and every time I had to stop reading for things like – y’know – living life, going to work, finishing work and sleeping — I kept thinking of just checking out for a while to continue reading! jaja!

Overall, I just want to say that her book was so wonderfully written – adding snarky comments in parenthesis or little “go dies” to people who made her mad or saying ‘no pun intended’ while talking about something sexual that was most definitely full of pun. Her book? So full of the real southern charm and some sort of a delicate properness that instantly makes you want her to be in your life. Not to mention, the delicious tales about her relationships that leaves you thirsty for more. (I think I even learned a little something from her writing and it made me want to add even more to my very own autobiography.)

Rue’s life was a mess. Holy moly son of a gun was it ever a mess!  She made mistakes like crazy, not thinking almost anything through, before diving right into it. Imagine a diver, not ready to dive, but dives in the pool without prepping for the dive. Yep. But, I have a sneaky suspicion that she knew what she wanted, even if she… didn’t know. (I know, how’s that make sense, right?) She made the mistake of marrying just so she wouldn’t be alone – it was her panic – instead of marrying for just love or other reasons, it was so she wouldn’t be alone. Well, I guess I should say, she felt like each time if they left, they were abandoning her. That was the major downfall…acting on impulse and fear of abandonment.

She was born in a small town, and like a select few of pearl-like individuals, she knew she belonged elsewhere. She knew she was destined to be in the Big Apple: New York. When she talked about getting to New York and it was “home” to her, I smiled and I smiled BIG when I read that because I completely knew what she meant by that. (I was born in a small town, knowing that I wanted something much more than what I was confined to, I knew the whole thing with that. And, my “home” later became Florida.)

Rue was a soul that I would have loved to get to know, that’s for sure. Her life was adventurous – she traveled every where, was in several Broadway shows / plays and later TV shows, and all through her relationships, she had a child and somehow made almost all of the right decisions regarding his life while she was trying to live hers. I give her props for that. She met a ton of people, lost touch with them, and somehow they always shown back up later on in life. I learned just so much from her own words, experiences and what have you.

She often remarked with snark comment, like – everything is perfect, when will the other shoe drop? Boom! It did. Over and over again. It was crazy, her crazy life. It was like getting down to the last piece of the puzzle and that piece being the wrong one – from another puzzle. So the question would be, what? Where is the other piece of the puzzle? Time to move on and try to find it. As I write this, I found the song “Don’t Rain on My Parade” floating through my head as I thought of all of the many times her good times went astray, so to speak. 

Some of her decisions were pretty smart though – she mentioned making decisions based up on being a show person or a businesswoman. It was most telling. Not to mention, her decisions about houses and when to get rid of them upon her loss of big jobs or whatnot. She was extremely smart and you could tell.

A few things I took to note, her very little words on politics. I was so happy when she mentioned being happy that Obama won the presidential campaign of 2008 and then later mentioning being close to / seeing Bill Clinton back when he won his presidential years. Very exciting that we shared those opinions and likes of those presidents. And, the shared comments about the “one in the middle”.

Every time she said “yes, I kept that” or “I still have it” or even the “hell no, I don’t have that any more” I had to smile. Lots. I knew what she meant by that. I still have a lot of things that people gave me or life’s souvenirs.

Later on the in the book she talks some about her days of The Golden Girls. It was sad to read that some of them had issues often at times and the personal struggles within their time acting for the show. She didn’t dish a lot about the show, as promised by her, but it was enough… this book was about her, not The Golden Girls. The one thing that did stick out, all of them were animal lovers and fought for animal rights. That right there is precious. I knew about that from previous reads but it was just cool re-reading that again and learning even more of what they did.

The end of her book brought the most sad. Something that will continue to sit with me is how she lost some of the closest people to her and then said, ‘it’s the end of an era’. That’s just a really sad thought to think about…  Comparing to how *I’ve* felt when I’ve lost a huge chunk of people that I felt a deep connection with (whether I knew them or not), yeah.. it hurts…and I knew. But, how must I feel or how do I explain that the people I cared about most are all older and have passed away compared to the friends now? And how do I explain my deep connection with the famous people (not as they’re famous but themselves) who have either passed away or are alive but don’t know I exist? It goes a long ways with my thoughts of ‘the dead pay more mind to me than the alive’. But, I digress.

A quote of hers towards the end – “Not all important people are famous, and not all famous people are important. She was definitely a beautiful soul and I wish to find a Rue to be friends with some time in my life.

Also towards the end of the book, she marries one last guy that she stayed with until she died. She said, being with him felt like home. Once again, I know this feeling… and I smiled.

What a lovely, lovely book. I’m glad I finally got to read this book about one of my favorite Golden Girls. I learned a great deal of things about her that I didn’t know, rediscovered some things I did know and even learned some about the Golden Girls. But most of all, Blanche was just a character that made Rue more famous with the every day world at the time. It was another reminder that life is never like fiction. Another reminder as to why I don’t like it so much. But nonetheless, Rue and Blanche were both amazing characters while they were alive.

I decided that since I’m editing all of my older poetry to go in my new poetry book that will combine all of my works (Life as a Pirate Hooker: THE POETRY BOOK), I should do one from there. Also, I am reading Rue McClanahan’s book ‘My First 5 Husbands’ and it is wonderfully funny and amazing and just wow! And since she’s a character one of my favorite shows, Golden Girls, I just had to let this little gem of a poem make its debut…

# 218: The Character’s Mind
by Karen Maeby Bates
June 27, 2006
In dedication & memory of Bye-Bye Birdie production in spring 2003

“Are all of you ready?”
We nodded our heads, said yes,
as we began getting nervous for the stage.
First show tonight,
then two more to go…
trusting it’ll go by easier than the first.
and in hope that tonight will be a good performance.

Butterflies form in everyone’s stomachs,
as they make it to the stage to
speak his or her first word…
A breath of fresh air when laughter is heard
from the audience.
It is a comedy.
They see the humor,
so we lighten up.

Line after line after line…
No big mess ups just yet
but
wonderful ad-libbing if one forgot his/her line..
Singing, dancing, chorus, single lines, duet speaking.
Still laughing in the crowd.
We do have a rather large crowd out there.

The stage is our area to shine,
our only chance to prove our work for the past few months.
We have something good.
We need to make it known.

For the past few months,
we’ve crawled inside a script and played our lives off of it.
For weeks
we became those characters….
spitting lines to and from, trying to get it right.
Just like life… you can get lost in it….

Before we know it,
the show is over
and
everyone is clapping.
Not to mention giving all of us a standing ovation.
They liked us. And our show rocked.

Two more performances and our work will be done.
All the hard work becomes memories
and
a thing of the past…
that hopefully made a difference in our lives…
as we put on quite a show,
and proved to everyone that
with loads of dedication, things will work.
And they did.

—

Spring 2003: I can still visualize it – so many nights of staying after school and practicing and practicing to make everything perfect, so many nights of funny things happening while we practiced, just so much crazy. It was also the year I went to Philly, the year of the push pin story with Mrs Hunt, the year I was in Momma’s class… it was a good year, my junior year.

“We love you Conrad, oh yes we dooooo” — (And, to think, I still have the piano music sheets with all of the music.) Smile!

Thought Process by Karen Maeby Bates
Saturday, 4/21/12

I met my soul at the cash register:

I was unloading every single thought and every single
thing going on with me at the moment.
Pulling each one out and placing it on the belt.

Everyone was looking at me funny
as they watched each shape and size thought
be placed in front of them.

One, twenty, twenty one, fifty, fifty one -
we get to 1,000
and my soul stops the belt. No more incoming thoughts
—— can pass.

“You’ve run out of time,” my soul says.
I stand there, stunned. “But I still have more left to give..”
“Nope. You’re holding up the process.”

My soul stands there, not allowing me
to move on, to add any more thoughts, nothing.

“What’s my total?” I say, worried.
“You currently owe about a million dollars and one lifetime to yourself.”

I am nearly blown away by that amount.
And, I nearly pass out.

Was I alive, still?

Minutes later, a part of me hands me a journal
and an organizer. My Soul tells me that I need
to prioritize my life with work, what I really want
and what I really need to do. Stop with the
meaningless projects, and the things that will
make a difference. You’re going to be paying
debt to me (your soul) if you don’t. Finish something,
breathe, don’t take on too much, prioritize what
you take on.

Beads of sweat float down my body,
after the severe chills:
here comes the fever. Medication.

I need the medication
for I am really truly sick this time.

Now, I know what it means
to owe debt to my soul.

Let this spring cleaning happen.

—-

I haven’t written the last two weeks… it’s like an explosion going on inside my brain: work has been keeping me busy (very overwhelming at times, doing eBay sales & marketing/social networking = being the most busy person EVER), I’m trying to catch up on reading actual book-books, I’m trying NOT TO take work home and do any more, trying to write in a paper journal (again), trying to get organized every where (again), trying to take on too many things (again), waking up 5am for the gym / not sleeping until 11pm every day  —- all while my body decides to just collapse and I’m very sick now. I feel like this was my body retaliating against me for working too much and not taking care of me…

All while – today – I decided that it’s time to wrap up all of my poetry in my first couple 10-15 years of writing plus some up to now… I’m going to be working on “Life as a Pirate Hooker: THE POETRY BOOK” for the next month or so. I hope to publish it once I’m done. Wish me luck! I think this is a good way for me to tie up everything in my past so I can move forward with my poetry life thoughts/themes/series/etc. Have any of you poets ever needed to do something like this in order to move on?

Prompt for dVersepoets Saturday would be to write a poem reflecting one of the few posted photos of Tracey Grumbach. Here goes.

copyrighted: Tracey Grumbach

Three – by Karen Maeby Bates

First you just have to dream about,
second – you plan it
and thirdly, you go through with it – no excuses.

It’s a life story, this -
following through after you get there
take that extra step, you won’t fall

you’ll

fly

after you realize your dreams have been reached.

And, you’ll sleep without interruption.

The Jimmy Buffett concert in Tampa was Friday March 30th and we couldn’t have asked for a better night. His concerts are fully experienced while outdoors, that’s for sure. You’ve got the beautiful weather, the wind carrying his great sound, Jimmy Buffett and island tunes for as long as he plays. And, a most lovely crowd!

Friday, we got out of work a little late but made it a good bit early at 1-800-ask-gary (ha!) amphitheater. We didn’t tailgate but it sure looked fun! (So I’ve heard, too.) Everything was set up on stage and that little bit of “ohmygod,imreallyhereafteralltheseyears.icantwait!” TOTALLY SET IN. Seriously!

Suddenly, the lights went dark. Then, “Hot Hot Hot” came on! AND THEN I KNEW IT WAS SHOWTIME! It’s THAT song. That song puts off that holyshit I’M SO EXCITED, I WANT TO CRY, IT’S HERE – I’M FINALLY SEEING JIMMY BUFFETT IN PERSON AGAIN! MY HERO! OH MY GOSH! YES YES YES YES MUSIC SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET I CAN’T RESIST! THAT. FEELING!

GET UP ON YOUR FEET – AND DDDDDDDDDDDDANCE!

Yes.

I knew. It was from then on – HOT HOT HOT.

Boom!

He had a great set list, there were a few songs I wish he had sung but it couldn’t have been any better. He played one of my faves off the License to Chill tour / cd – Hey Good Lookin’! That song hadn’t been played since 2008.

They played “It’s My Job” – which is highly respected by me ever since I heard it – and I sent my boss a picture of them singing it. The lyrics are posted by my office door. There’s just something about the lyrics, man.

I got an uncle who owns a bank, he’s a self-made millionaire 
He never had anyone to love, never had no one to care 
He always seemed kinda sad to me and I asked him why that was 
And he told me it’s because in my contract there’s this clause 

Chorus: 
That says, “It’s my job to be worried half to death 
And that’s the thing people respect in me 
It’s my job but without it I’d be less 
Than what I expect from me.” 

Now I’ve been lazy most all my life writin’ songs and sleepin’ late 
And any manual labor I’ve done was purely by mistake 
If street sweepers can smile then I’ve got no right to feel upset 
But sometimes I still forget 
‘Til the lights go on and the stage is set 
And the song hits home and you feel that sweat 

Chorus: 
It’s my job to be different than the rest 
And that’s enough reason to go for me 
It’s my job to be better than the rest 
And that’s a rough break for me

Exactly.

There was definitely some magic going on in that room. Everyone from everywhere pulling together to listen Mr Jimmy Buffett sing his heart out about the ocean and life and so much more…. It was beautiful. I was pretty emotional at the beginning – just – so unreal being back listening live again after all the concerts I have listened to on Radio Margaritaville!!!!

It was definitely everything I had remembered previously – just a much older me… heh. It was wonderful. He puts on a great show and I can’t wait for the next one!

Not to mention, my king, my husband came with meeeeeeeeeee. That was special!

Overall, it was just so wonderful. Not to mention, when it was over it was almost like a dream – like I had never been there… and I’m left wanting more. :( Maybe one day.

Here are some pictures that came out okay from the concert:

It was such a wonderful night. I <3 me some live Jimmy! His music is definitely the fuel to my day.

Today our lovely friend Olga delivered a tree and a couple desks for us. I finally completed my little office corner I think. You’re only seeing about 1/4 of the room, I have a huge office at work but it’s all filled with shipping material, boxes, product, lots of product, stuff I’m working on and things are just all over the place.

I think I’m going to add Christmas lights to the tree when I get a chance. Or, order some of those pink flamingo lights from Margaritaville.com. :)

Anyway, here’s a picture:

I love my office. <3 I’m going to love it even more when I’m actually done with decorating it – if ever. :P

Anyway, I’m closing out this blog entry to do some much needed writing. I finally got  one of those 9×6 or something small sized sketch journals so I can multi-purpose it.. and because I can’t think on lines.

I can do the hell out of to-do lists on lines but I can’t do personal journaling on lines. I’m weird.

A weird, weird child. Errr. 25 year old. :P Emphasis on the O – L – D and perhaps the weird. But the weird goes places. You know.

Shhhh. Night. :P